Sunday, March 10, 2019

THE SIMPLE GOLD WEDDING BAND by JOANNE M. PALMISANO

Throughout my life, I always looked for my Mom’s wedding band on her ring finger on her left hand.  It was a simple gold wedding band. She never took it off.  The sacrament of marriage was a vital part of my Mom’s life and the ring symbolized it.

During my Mom’s two year stay at a nursing home, the band possessed a greater significance for me.  For me, it was a sign of normalcy during my Mom’s mental and physical decline. Something so important to her throughout her life was still present.

Despite her weight loss, the ring stayed on her finger. Wearing the ring never irritated her finger or caused her problems. My Mom no longer wore her glasses, watched TV, read books, worked with her hands, but she wore her wedding band.

Fearful that the ring would fall off or bother her, I asked her a few times to take it off. Her immediate reply was always the same “no”.  With other personal items missing from her room, my concern only grew.  I quickly put it in God’s hand to handle this situation. The ring never moved off of her finger until her death. I now possess the simple gold wedding band.

During my visits while watching her during various activities, thoughts overcame me about this simple gold wedding band.  Besides being a reflection of my Mom’s personality, the band represented years of love, care and commitment to not only my Dad but her children, grandchildren and extended family.  Her steadfast presence no matter the circumstance held the family together.  Serving as a witness, her actions spoke volumes on living a Catholic married life.

Despite endless moments of fatigue, doubts and disbelief, these memories fueled my visits to care and advocate for her well-being.  God provided these memories to me as a motivator during my Mom’s final years.  Being there for her wasn’t an option, it was a necessity just as wearing the simple gold wedding band was for my Mom. 

(Editor's Note: Joanne Palmisano has written many thoughtful articles for Trenton Cursillo over the years. The newest one, "The Simple Gold Wedding Band," is a beautiful memory of her mom, Josephine "Josie" Mrazik, and Josie's devotion to her marriage of 64 years to her husband, Joseph "Bud" Mrazik and to their family. Josephine passed away in 2017. Today, March 10th is Josie's birthday.)